Why we self sabotage?

Never doubt yourself

Do you get really annoyed when you aren’t reaching your health & life goals? Are you going down a really good path and then…BAM…you do something to throw everything off kilter? Something isn’t perfect, you make excuses why you can’t go any further, you add drama and “busy-ness” into the mix to stop you from living a healthy purpose driven life…….well you may be guilty of self-sabotaging behaviour.


I decided to do this post as I think it’s a really important topic when it comes to your health. It’s the reason why many of us are not achieving the healthful life we want and deserve.

I have definitely been very guilty of self-sabotage in the past and I still struggle with it constantly. Basically I set goals and for some reason I procrastinate around them, don’t focus properly, beat myself up, tell myself I can’t do something and basically be my own worst enemy! And I can tell you it’s not fun and pretty much leads me to dis-trusting myself.

Self-sabotage can be described as a combination of negative thoughts, feelings and self-defeating behaviours, caused by low self-esteem and a lack of self-worth and confidence that create roadblocks on the path to success. When you consciously want something but subconsciously make sure you don’t get it, your inner saboteur is at work. The behaviours are subtle, but by learning to recognise them, you can begin to overcome them.


  • The familiarity of ‘failure’. Maybe we’re so used to situations not working out or to being around ‘dysfunctional people’ that it feels easier to ‘put a spanner in the works’ by behaving in some way that either worsens or destroys something promising – a kind of ‘better the devil you know’.
  • An unconscious need to be in control. If we feel something is bound to fail because it’s ‘too good to last’, we might engineer its failure somehow so as to maintain a sense that we are still in control (because we caused it to fail).
  • Feeling unworthy. Low self-esteem may drive people to feel they ‘don’t deserve’ success or happiness.
  • Need for excitement. Sometimes sticking to goals and being “good” can be boring, that’s why sometimes we want to create some excitement and add drama into our lives. In the end the temporary excitement only leads to disappointment, distrust and a feeling of letting yourself down.

We are all guilty of self-sabotage and it can really get in the way. We think it’s easier to stay where we are. To dig our heels in and keep carrying on in the same old comfort zone.


Because subconsciously we perceive “staying put” as less painful than nurturing a more rich and vibrant mindset.


Change can = pain.


Because it’s bloody worth it!!

When you feel yourself edging out of your comfort zone and then panicking take a deep breath and remember: you’re not going to die!

When you find yourself engaging in sabotaging behavior –
• opting for crappy food instead of nourishing food to fuel yourself
• skipping the gym
• binge eating
• getting absolutely smashed drunk when you wanted to get up and be productive in the morning
• creating too much ‘busyness’ in your life
• not making your health a priority
• missing deadlines
• not returning the call, email, text

….ask yourself “Is this getting me closer to where I want to go?”

When you’re avoiding the hard work – the tough conversations, the long hours, the workouts, saying no, choosing the wrong thing to eat, not making your goals a priority – say “I love myself enough to do this.”

Shelve your fear, loosen your shackles and desire a life of satisfaction more than you dislike change.

And then act.

Remember your life is no one else’s responsibility but your own and if you aren’t reaching your health & life goals, it may be because you are actually getting in the way of yourself.

With love and health.

Belinda x


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